"How should I act on the first date?"

I get a lot of specific questions that are
basically variations of this... things like:

"What should we talk about?" and "How do you
keep the conversation interesting?"

So instead of answering one specific question,
I'm going to lump them all together... and I'm
going to just address them all in this Q&A Dating
Tip.

Here goes...

THE FIRST DATE ISN'T AN INTERVIEW

The first thing to remember when you're meeting
up with a girl for "a date" is that it's NOT an
INTERVIEW.

You're not applying for a job (and neither is
she), so don't act like it.

It's so funny to me when I sit down in a
restaurant and I hear a couple that's obviously
out on their first date... and the guy has no idea
what to do.

It sounds like this:

"So, did you grow up around here?"

"Where did you go to school?"

"Do you have brothers and sisters?"

"What kinds of things do you like to do for fun?"

Painful.

Why is it that people tend to act like they're
on job interviews when they go out on dates?

It's just such the NOT-right thing to do.

I mean, no wonder women sit around with each
other and complain about how hard it is to find an
interesting guy in this world.

Here's a good rule of thumb:

ONLY ASK QUESTIONS OR TALK ABOUT COMMON,
BORING, PREDICTABLE TOPICS LIKE SCHOOL, WORK AND
FAMILY IF YOU HAVE ABSOLUTELY RUN OUT OF ALL OTHER
OPTIONS... AND YOU REALLY ENJOY THAT CURIOUS DRY
FEELING RIGHT WHERE YOUR LEGS MEET.

And why is this?

Good question. And I'm glad you asked.

First, let's talk about WHY most guys allow the
conversation to turn to these ultra-boring
topics...

Most guys approach a first date from the
perspective of "I don't want to screw this up".

In other words, they try to play it safe and
not do anything or say anything that the girl
might not like.

They try to present themselves as "nice guys"
who love mom, have a good job, and are stable.

Somehow, guys have gotten the idea that if they
act nice, buy dinner, and talk about the same old
things that everyone else uses to bore women to
tears that they might get lucky and score (or at
least get a kiss and a second opportunity to buy
dinner).

I don't know where this concept came from, but
it's just not a very effective approach.

WOMEN AREN'T ATTRACTED TO THE SAME OLD SAME
OLD, BORING, PREDICTABLE CONVERSATION.

Attraction happens when there is energy, spice,
humor, mystery... COCKY AND FUNNY... and special
sauce.

So, if you want to create ATTRACTION instead of
BOREDOM, you're going to have to learn a new way.

You're going to have to learn to talk about
something else.

Before I give you specifics about what to
talk about with women, I want to mention one
VERY important thing: If you don't know how to
make a woman laugh, and you don't know how to
create TENSION in a skillful way, then I want
you to make sure and read THIS:

Cocky Comedy

Onward...

The trick to not talking about the "usual"
things is to know how to make conversation
INTERESTING.

Let me ask you... what are the most INTERESTING
topics to humans in general?

Hint: Think best-selling books and TV shows...

Right - drama, violence, scandal, and comedy
that is painful to one of the parties involved.

Here are a few good ideas for conversation that
come to mind:

1. Any Hollywood scandal involving anyone famous
and anyone of the opposite sex that's famous.

2. Any relationship drama going on between any pop
star and their new or ex boy/girl friend.

3. Anything that has to do with hip hop artists
spending too much money on rims that spin or
diamonds in their teeth.

These topics will light up a conversation like
nobody's business. And they create all kinds of
opportunities to be cocky and funny while talking
about the misfortunes and neurotic behavior of
others.

The trick is that you must remember you're NOT
there to impress her, and you're NOT on a job
interview.

The more you act nervous, stilted, and
uncomfortable... like you're trying to impress her
and get her approval... and like you don't want to
say anything that might make her disapprove of
you, the less likely you are to trigger that all-
important ATTRACTION inside of her.

And here's a real twist on this theme:

If SHE starts asking the "normal" questions
about school, job, family, etc. this is a perfect
opportunity to bust on her and say "What, is this
a job interview?"

Or "Can't you think of something interesting to
talk about? Please, spare me the pain of the usual
school-job-family conversation. Let's save that
until we're picking names for our kids."

If you MUST talk about something "normal" or
"regular", try sprinkling in a few of these ideas:

1) History. Women love to hear stories about the
history of places. If you're in an interesting
part of town, tell her the story of how the area
came to be named, or why the city was built where
it is. And if the story involves a tale of love
and/or scandal, all the better.

2) Anything superficial, classy, and basically
meaningless. Try learning a little about fashion,
this way you can make fun of it while acting like
you know what you're talking about. "Didn't
Madonna really screw up the fashion world with
this whole over-the-top fake cowboy look thing?"

3) Comedy Psychological Analysis. Have fun by
giving your wild perspective on others. "You know,
I've been trying to figure out why so many people
these days are going postal and shooting everyone.
I think it might be all the lame music that's on
the radio these days..." This one can be a lot of
fun... be creative.

Do you see where I'm going with this?

If you want to keep her interest, then you have
to be INTERESTING.

The old-fashioned act-like-you're-on-a-job
interview rap just doesn't cut it.

Now, for some guys, the ideas that I've just
talked about will make sense, but they won't come
naturally.

That's OK. You may have to work on this for
awhile, especially if you've spent the last 25 or
so years doing the wrong thing.

Old Proverb: "No matter how far down the wrong
road you've gone, TURN BACK."

So remember, attraction isn't a choice. And
attraction doesn't make logical sense. If you want
to create that magical "chemistry", then you're
going to have to LEARN and PRACTICE it.

Repeat after me.

Out loud.

"I am not going on an interview... I am not
going on an interview... I am not going on an
interview..."

Good. Keep that in mind.